Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
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