I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
