oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
