Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
