How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
