Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
