I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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