I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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