the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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