I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
