I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
