Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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