I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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