Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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