You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
