i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
