He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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