The maid of honor just puked.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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