You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
