Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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