apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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