there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
