If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
