I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I have tasted many bathrooms
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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