it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
