Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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