i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
