paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I wish I only lived at night.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
