...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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