yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
