I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
