Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You pole danced in your parka.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
