ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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