So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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