Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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