Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
