he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
only you would photoshop your dick
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
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