She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
