i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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