You really coming over, don't trick.
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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