it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
