I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
