okay pat passed out under dana's car
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
