She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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