what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
