I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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