Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
My vagina is very pro this idea
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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