It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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