I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
