everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
