Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
